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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29727828">A Lesson in Forgiveness</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/stxrdrifter/pseuds/stxrdrifter'>stxrdrifter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Deck of 52, Jokers Removed [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Rewrite, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda?, Punk Makoto, Smoking, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:47:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,117</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29727828</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/stxrdrifter/pseuds/stxrdrifter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru helps Makoto let go of her anger.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Niijima Makoto/Okumura Haru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Deck of 52, Jokers Removed [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2184840</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Lesson in Forgiveness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This one was also posted originally to my one shot collection. You might have already read it, but go ahead and read it again! And again! and again. and again and again andagainandaga</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Makoto enjoyed being on the roof. </p><p>It was peaceful, a place she could get away during the long days without anyone observing. The fresh air, the flowerbeds Haru had worked lovingly on; the entire atmosphere of the place helped to calm her nerves.</p><p>It was also, of course, the only place on the property she could smoke a cigarette without getting caught.</p><p>She didn’t like that she smoked. Someone convinced her it helped with stress, so she opted to try a few. After realizing they didn’t work, she tried to quit, but the addiction had set in very snugly. Her sister was eternally stressed over work, so she let herself suffer. </p><p>Sae didn’t need to see her go through the withdrawal. She could wait a little bit longer to quit. Her sister was more important.</p><p> </p><p>She was pulled out of her thoughts by the squeal of the door, and her head whipped over to see her lovely fluffy-haired girlfriend.</p><p>“Hey, Mako-chan. How are you feeling?” Haru asked lovingly. </p><p>Makoto sighed. “Not fantastic, all things considered. How about you?” </p><p>“Probably better, but I’m not here for me. I’m here for you. Do you... wanna talk about what happened?” Makoto exhaled a plume of smoke, and dropped the cigarette in her makeshift ashtray. </p><p> </p><p>Over the weekend, Makoto was in a fight. While she was in Shinjuku with Akira and Eiko, she tried to convince Eiko that her ‘boyfriend’ was actually just some creep trying to use her for money. As Tsukasa was rambling, trying to save his skin, things… well, they escalated, to say the least. At some point, while listening to Tsukasa go on and on, she just snapped. She dragged him off into an alley and started beating the man.</p><p> </p><p>Haru ran her hands over the bruises on Makoto’s knuckles, her thumb on Makoto’s busted lip. </p><p>“You shouldn’t be getting into fights, you know,” Haru said.</p><p>“I know, but that… that <em> piece of shit </em>just… I couldn’t stand to hear him say another word.” Makoto grabbed Haru’s hand softly. “Sorry for making you worry.”</p><p>“Mako-chan, I’m always going to worry. Being the Phantom Thieves isn’t exactly a safe job, you know. I worry about everyone on the team, but especially you. It’s part of being your girlfriend.” Makoto observed Haru’s smile. That sweet smile, so full of caring and nurturing, ready at a moment’s notice to heal any and all wounds it possibly can. Makoto was surprised Haru’s persona didn’t have access to any healing skills, it was so in her nature to heal.</p><p>She kissed Haru. “Thank you.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The following Mementos run was a nightmare.</p><p>Despite her injuries, Makoto <em> insisted </em> on being a part of the leading party. Every time she attacked, it hurt. Her attacks were often doing less damage, when they hit at all. She hadn’t entirely gotten over her usefulness complex, so her dragging the party behind was doing major psychological damage.</p><p>She broke her leg in two places during that run, shattered her ribs, threw her shoulder, and thanks to a certain shadow skilled in brainwashing, was shot by Joker multiple times.</p><p>Thanks to Zorro’s healing abilities, she was fine after a few simple spells, but the pain still lingered. She was determined to keep fighting to the point that everyone in the party had to tell her to stop.</p><p>She was pushing too hard. She needed to rest.</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji took her place on the front lines, and she waited at a safe room with Haru until the team secured a route to the next one.</p><p>They mostly sat in silence. Makoto laid on the bench with her head in Haru’s lap listening to a random playlist on her phone, with the rhythms of the subway labyrinth sometimes bleeding through her earbuds. </p><p>She couldn’t get Tsukasa out of her head. She couldn’t stop thinking about the terrible things he’d done, tried to do, and would likely continue to do.</p><p>“How are you feeling?” Haru asked.</p><p>Makoto pulled out her earbuds and wrapped them up. “Not great. I can’t stop thinking about that creep, I just want… I want to make him pay for what he did to those girls.”</p><p>“I understand, but pushing yourself beyond your limits will only make things worse for you.” Her concern was worn tightly on her sleeve.</p><p>“I know, but… I just…”</p><p>“Have you spoken to Eiko since then?”</p><p>Makoto sat up, wincing at the phantom pain from her previously broken ribs. “Yeah, she said she’s sorry for not listening to me earlier. I told her she has no need to be sorry, Tsukasa is to blame.”</p><p>“So why are you still angry about him? You’ve saved someone, isn’t that enough?”</p><p>“Just because I helped Eiko doesn’t mean he won’t do it again to some other girl!” Makoto yelled. Haru looked down at her feet. “I… I’m sorry, Haru.”</p><p>“No, it’s fine. I’m just… I’m worried you’re taking this too far, and you’re going to get yourself hurt in a way that no Diarahan can save you from. Please, Mako-chan… let this rest. You stopped him from hurting Eiko, you’ve done enough.” Haru pulled Makoto into a tight hug and kissed her on the forehead. Makoto felt her muscles relaxing slightly. </p><p>Haru’s hugs were always so warm and soft. No matter when or where, if she needed Haru’s soft love, Haru would give it. She felt a pang of guilt at this (she wasn’t particularly good at the whole ‘love’ thing), but Haru continued to reassure her that it was alright.</p><p>There would always be a part of her that doubted that, but for now, she’d let that doubt go, just for a moment, to stay here in her arms and let Haru’s relaxing care wash her worries away.</p><p> </p><p>Haru insisted she take Makoto out for coffee afterwards. Makoto wanted only to collapse in her bed and die, but Haru was determined.</p><p>Makoto gave in after very little resistance. Haru was just too cute to turn down.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>At the coffee shop, Makoto tapped her fingers on the tabletop. Her anxiety was manifesting as impatience.</p><p>“Hey, what’s on your mind?” Haru asked. “Is it Tsukasa still?”</p><p>“Obviously, that creep just pisses me off.” Haru scowled. “What?”</p><p>“I told you to let this go, Makoto. You’ve done enough, now would you…” she paused, took a breath, and calmed herself down. “Would you <em> please </em>relax?”</p><p>“I can try,” Makoto let out. Haru sighed. </p><p>A waiter brought out their coffee, and an apple pie for Haru.</p><p>“Hey, why didn’t I get one of those?” Makoto whined.</p><p>“Well, you scared me today, so you don’t deserve one!”</p><p>“Can I at least have one bite?” Makoto reached for Haru’s fork but she held it above her head, putting her other hand to Makoto’s face.</p><p>“What’s the magic word?”</p><p>Makoto sighed. “Please, Haru?”</p><p>Haru smiled. She sliced off a small piece of the pie with the edge of her fork, and held it out in front of her. Makoto reached for the fork but Haru pulled it away at the last second.</p><p>Makoto knew what this meant.</p><p>She sat, hands on the table, and opened her mouth for Haru to feed her pie.</p><p>The pie was delicious.</p><p>Haru giggled. “Is it good?”</p><p>“Really good, thank you.” Makoto blushed. She couldn’t possibly stay grumpy with Haru, her bubbly personality made it all too easy to relax and let her worries fade. She, of course, still wanted to get back at Tsubasa, but for now… she could breathe.</p><p>She was safe.</p><p>They talked a lot, staying there much longer than a single coffee deserved, and made their way to the station. They boarded the train and sat head-on-shoulder in the empty car. Haru kissed Makoto goodbye at her stop, and (like every other time Haru kissed her) turned bright red all the way until she got home.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Makoto couldn’t sleep that night. She tossed and turned. Despite being told she’d done enough, she couldn’t help but think there was more she could do. There <em> had </em>to be something more for her to do, it couldn’t end like this. She had to make sure Tsukasa couldn’t touch another person again.</p><p>She sat up with a bolt, grabbed her phone and opened the Metaverse navigator.</p><p>
  <em> Tsukasa Aoyama, Mementos. </em>
</p><p>It was a hit.</p><p>After that, she didn’t get any sleep. She stayed up all night planning her attack, writing all her strategies down in exceptionally neat handwriting, before crumpling it up and tossing it in the trash can so Sae wouldn’t see. </p><p>“<em>This is going to work</em>,” she thought. “<em>Then, I can stop him.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>She went alone and completely exhausted. Under normal circumstances she wouldn't be here in the first place; she’d have said she needed the rest and stayed home while the others worked their way forward, but these weren’t normal circumstances. She was furious, determined, and definitely not in her right mind.</p><p>She got lost a <em> lot </em>; trying to map out everything and evade stronger shadows made exploration slow and tough. She didn’t have Morgana, Yusuke, and Futaba to chime in and help her with navigation.</p><p>She was alone in a dark dungeon where nobody would know if she got hurt.</p><p> </p><p>She found his shadow.</p><p>He was… laughing.</p><p><b>“You think you can stop me?? I’ll get all the girls I want, there’s nothing a bitch like you can do!” </b> Shadow Tsukasa bragged. Makoto pulled out her gun and aimed it at him. <b>“So… a fight’s what you want? Well, I can give you a fight.”</b></p><p>Makoto fired off a shot, but it missed and hit the wall behind him. She summoned her persona and cast spells, but they missed too. </p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t beat him. Her attacks were hardly landing, and even when they did, they were hardly doing any damage. Meanwhile, every time he attacked, it was devastating.</p><p>She resigned herself to defeat just as she heard an engine.</p><p>“Floor it, Joker!” She heard Ryuji yell.</p><p>Akira, Ryuji, Yusuke, and the rest of the crew were here. Akira rammed the Monabus into Tsukasa’s shadow, stunning it temporarily, before he and the rest of the Phantom Thieves attacked.</p><p>Haru pulled Makoto back and gave her some healing items.</p><p>“How did you find me?” Makoto sputtered, coughing up blood.</p><p>“You weren’t answering your phone.” Haru waved to Ann, who cast Diarahan on Makoto.</p><p>“I don’t always answer my phone, Haru. As a matter of fact, I answer it quite rarely.”</p><p>“Yes, well considering the circumstances, I assumed the worst and that you’d done something stupid.” Haru pulled Makoto into a tight embrace, both fearful and grateful. “I’m so mad at you, but I’m glad you’re okay.” She cried into Makoto’s shoulder, and Makoto couldn’t help but cry as well.</p><p> </p><p>Tsukasa’s shadow was defeated. Haru and Makoto were on the train home, the car empty aside from them.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Haru asked, breaking a long silence.</p><p>“I’ll be fine, I’m glad you guys had my back.” She held Haru’s hand tightly. </p><p>“You’re allowed to ask for help, Mako-chan. You know that, right?” Makoto nodded, eyes still swollen. “So why didn’t you?”</p><p>“I didn’t want to be a burden to you guys. This was my pro-”</p><p>“We’re a team, Makoto!” Haru yelled, fists tight in her lap. Makoto was taken aback, this was the first time she’d ever seen Haru angry, and the guilt tore at her soul.</p><p>“I- I know.” Her voice was small.</p><p>“You never have to handle anything alone. You can always <em> always </em>ask for help and I-” Haru’s voice broke. “We’ll give it to you.”</p><p>“Haru...” Makoto realized just how hurt Haru was by her recklessness. Despite the feeling of finally stopping Tsukasa, Makoto’s guilt was still chaining her down. She couldn’t bear to see Haru like this.</p><p>“I’m your <em> girlfriend </em>, Makoto.” She smacked her hands on the seat. Makoto knew she was in trouble now. “I’m not wearing that title for fun. I care about you, you’re important to me and I want to help you when you’re struggling like I know you’ll help me.” Haru stopped, tears running down her cheeks, and Makoto couldn’t take her eyes off her. </p><p>“I’m sorry, Haru.” She reached out, clasping her hands. “It will never happen again. I promise, whenever I have a problem, I’ll ask you for help.”</p><p>“Good.” The two hugged, awkwardly and side by side on a dirty train. “I’m still mad,” Haru said with a sniffle.</p><p>“You’re allowed to be.”</p><p>“You owe me dinner for making me worry.” She wiped her tears away, a smile adorning her face.</p><p>The two rode the train the rest of the way, Makoto’s head rested on Haru’s shoulder. She was finally feeling some peace. </p>
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